Why Does Ex Keep Texting You

A girl has broken up with a guy – perhaps enough time has passed since their breakup, or she has already had another relationship. And then, out of the blue, a former boyfriend, husband, or lover appears, insistently calling and writing; it is unclear why. And, of course, at such moments, the question arises, why does he write after the breakup?

Why is he doing this?

So, let’s say this situation has already happened. And in this case, it is unclear what caused the manifestation of such attention. Let’s consider different variants:

Sense of incompleteness

Probably one of the most common options. It seems that the relationship is already over; all the words have been said to each other – but you are still attracted to each other, and it seems that not everything has been done to preserve the relationship.

In this case, the former partner observes his mate’s life, attempts to make contact, and restores communication.

Your success

Enough time has passed, and you have recovered from the breakup and are ready to cope with any problem. You are becoming solid and successful.

And at that moment, the ex is sure to show up. Because that’s when he’ll realize who he’s lost, he will realize that his ex-girlfriend could have achieved so much and lost her.

Revenge and resentment

A man writes to tell you how great his life is without the relationship-that. He’s happy and has been able to find new love. It’s not always true, but it’s a great way to show that he’s fine without you.

Remorse, guilt

Maybe you broke up with a violent scandal or a breakup by text message. And now he shows up, as if nothing had happened, and writes that he misses you and loves you.

He probably spent some time thinking about the situation and finally admitted to himself that he was to blame for the breakup. And now he is going to try to get forgiveness.

The desire to return

The man realized the breakup was a mistake and shouldn’t have cut off their intimacy. But he does not know how to admit that his feelings are still influential. So he starts at least by writing a text message. Perhaps he writes at night drunk because it is easier to show his sincere feelings.


Perhaps he just got bored because he couldn’t find a new relationship. In this case, he considers it “convenient” to write to your ex-girlfriend – because you broke up, but you promised to continue communicating.

To brag.

Time has passed, and the man writes, talking about what a posh life he now has. The reason he has appeared so suddenly is not that he misses – but because he wants to seem cooler than he is and that losing him is a huge mistake.


Yes, that’s a possibility, too. If a guy reminds you of himself, asks how you are, and then disappears again for an indefinite period, it’s possible that he remembered you out of boredom and just decided to find out about your life.


After you break up, does your man keep writing almost every day? Maybe he wants to know if you have a new lover. He’ll likely write, but he won’t do anything – and he will not return.


Even in a relationship or married, an ex-lover periodically texts, likes photos, and sometimes calls. He is possibly not confident enough in his feelings about the new girl and sees his ex as a backup. But this does not indicate the sincerity of his feelings.

Failures in my personal life

In this case, he will communicate either to speak out or to find one-time comfort in the arms of a girl who was once close to him.


The person writes but then disappears and writes “Hi!” again a year later. Maybe he has a pleasant memory, and he writes to talk about the past.

The desire to preserve friendships

Even though the relationship didn’t work out – a man may perceive an ex-girlfriend as a good friend. He may always write you nonsense, but that’s only because he sees only that way to maintain the friendship and doesn’t want to have serious conversations.

He’s drunk.

First, he writes that he hates you, then he compliments you, and a few minutes later, he writes nasty things again. This is a sure sign that the guy is drunk and his thoughts and actions are controlled only by alcohol. And all of his emotions are either the result of his intoxication or he’s been saving them up inside himself for a long time.


Even if there are no more feelings, the man may be hard to let go of the past love – because it has become for him a comfortable habit, supplementing his daily life.

He’s too possessive.

He can start bugging you with a fake or another number to discover details of his ex-lover’s personal life.

He subconsciously wants to hear how evil the ex-girlfriend is in the new relationship and how she wants to return to him. And saying that everything is okay with you pisses him off.

He’s a conservative.

He is afraid to start something else, so he tries to return to the old one. After all, everything is clear and understandable there, and you don’t have to expect surprises.

How to respond?

It has already happened that an ex-boyfriend, husband, or lover wrote. What to do next, how to react, and how best to respond? Is it necessary to write to an ex, or is it better to beware of this communication? It is essential to consider options for different situations.

If you want it back

Initially, you need to understand the motive and sincerity of his messages. If his desires coincide with yours, then, of course, you should continue the dialogue. You don’t have to go back to discussing past problems and digging up old conflicts.

If you want a good new relationship with this person, it’s as if you have to get to know him again, get to know him, discover new sides of him and show different sides of yourself.

Do not be in a hurry to fall back into the vortex of feelings right away. It makes sense to talk a little longer and get used to each other again. Yes, and to understand whether there is still love and meaning in this relationship or it’s just swept up warm memories from the past.

If you want to avoid communication

In that case, everything is quite simple. One option is to tell the intrusive suitor that you don’t want to communicate with him, much less have a relationship.

If the man who dumped you is waking up and going to sleep, writing to you, and trying to write under someone else’s name – then it makes sense to block his contacts, including social media accounts and phone numbers.

And if a man has encouraged his friends who write to you at his initiative not to leave you alone, you can also block them. After all, peace of mind and safety are more important than the fact that blocking could hurt someone.

Is it necessary to renew the relationship?

This is a tricky question to which everyone has no single answer. Many factors influence this answer. It would help if you answered a lot of questions for yourself to figure out your true feelings. What is more critical for you, to find ways not to get back together with your boyfriend or to find reasons to build a life together again?

Consider the different factors.

Reasons for breaking up

The reason for the breakup is almost a decisive factor in restoring the relationship.

If he left you

Somewhat incomprehensible in this case will be his desire to communicate. And there are two options here. Either his old emotions are running high, or he is not writing to you sincerely and not to restore the relationship.

Well, analyze the breakup, and if he left you because of some little thing or caused you too much pain, then you should not rush to establish such communication.

If you left him

Most likely, there were good reasons for this action. And if you had them, and if they led to the breakup, are you sure it won’t happen again?

Is it accurate to say that man has changed? Has he learned to behave differently in the relationship? Will these feelings make the two of you happy? If not, there is no point in starting again.

It ended in a scandal.

If there was a scandal, then there was a mutual grievance. Again, the question is, are you sure your former partner has changed, and have you changed?

If everything remains the same, you still do not satisfy each other, and your life will again be filled with scandals and misunderstandings – do not return such a relationship.

In any case, it makes sense to discuss the problems and try to understand each other, whether there is a desire to change something, and whether you are willing to do it. If so, maybe you can give this relationship a chance.

You shouldn’t consider restoring the relationship if you broke up over text. After all, even if such an important decision as a breakup was not made face-to-face – did this relationship ever make sense?

How often does he write?

The frequency of how often a former chosen one writes can also tell you whether it makes sense to get back into a relationship.


If most of the time you don’t communicate, but sometimes he writes to you, he probably already has new feelings, and most of the time, he doesn’t care about you. He probably writes out of boredom, not a desire to get back together.

Every day

There are two reasons why a guy writes. Either he is possessive and needs to control his ex-girlfriend’s life, or he still has sincere feelings and wants to take care of her.

In the second case, you need to reconsider your attitude toward your former partner – and if feelings have not yet cooled down, then why not give him a chance?

On certain dates

It’s likely that your current partner isn’t around on certain days or that the guy writes on days when you have the weekend off. In this case, the attention from his side is more likely a desire for a one-time meeting.

But even if, after two years, he continues to congratulate you on your birthday or some seemingly insignificant holidays – can you be sure that his feelings have already faded?

Maybe after the breakup, a man did not write to you long enough, but this does not always mean he decided to cut off communication altogether. Just the psychology of a man after a breakup is that he begins to miss the girl later. Consequently, he may start to realize his mistakes later and make attempts to restore the relationship.

Yes, the frequency of messages is not a hundred percent guarantee to determine the motives of why your ex-husband writes to you and whether it is necessary to start a new relationship with him. Still, by tracing specific patterns, you can better understand his affection for you.

What do you feel?

It is enough to analyze your feelings to understand whether you need a relationship with your ex-partner.

If his text message makes your heart skip a beat and you smile, maybe it’s time to admit to yourself that your feelings are still alive?

After all, if you wait for his messages and conversations with him to be just as important and exciting to you as they used to be, it means there is still love, and the man is just as important. Perhaps he is worthy of giving this relationship another chance.

It is the same in the opposite case. Suppose intrusive messages cause only irritation and a desire to eliminate the interlocutor as soon as possible. In that case, you need to inform- communication is no longer meaningful, and it is necessary to stop it now gently.

If your ex-partner can not stop bothering you after your request, and all the hints pass by his ears – overpower yourself and block it so that this communication does not poison your life.

What to look out for

Several other factors can show feelings and intentions:

  • If a man writes but doesn’t do anything, there’s a good chance he doesn’t want a relationship. And in correspondence with you, he sees either a friend or an alternate. Perhaps he likes communicating with you, but he is not ready to take decisive action to repair the relationship. And here, you can either give the man time or keep communicating without the prospect of anything more;
  • If he backs up his words with actions, he is likely earnest. If he decides again to achieve a relationship with the woman he lost, if feelings boil in him again, and his actions speak about love and care – think about giving him a chance.

If, after all, it was decided to restore the relationship, it is necessary to study the advice of psychologists. Restoring intimacy after a breakup is, in some ways, even more difficult than building a new one. Important tips are:

  • Be attentive and careful of yourself and your partner. Don’t let the new wave of love completely veil your eyes;
  • Take care of yourself. If you are still having a hard time letting go of old wounds and resentments, discuss it with your partner or work through it with a psychologist. You need to feel comfortable in the relationship;
  • Don’t bring up the breakup. Every word about the past separation and rebuke in the direction of the other half can cause anger and irritation. If you care about these feelings, start fresh, not clinging to old grudges;

  • Focus on the good things in the relationship. Think of the good things you did, words you said, or events that made you happy. Try to re-create together that cozy atmosphere of love in which the two of you were comfortable;
  • Thank each other. A new relationship is hard work. Saying thank you will be an encouragement and an incentive to move on and do more;
  • Create new memories together. After all, the more suitable moments there are, the stronger and more comfortable the relationship will be for the two partners;

  • Reconsider the arrangements. In the new relationship, are the deals previously in place as relevant as they were? Or maybe you should create something anew;
  • Make the correct conclusions. You need to see the breakup as a kind of reset and an opportunity to conclude the problems in the relationship;
  • Apologize and admit your mistakes. After all, if you constantly stubbornly stand your ground, there will be no progress in the relationship, and things will get worse again;

  • Make plans for the future. Talk about how you would like to see your relationship in the future, what you can change in yourself, and what actions on both sides will make this relationship ideal;
  • Talk and listen. The ability to hear is probably the foundation of a good relationship. After all, if partners know how to listen and hear and subsequently change, they value the relationship and want it to develop further.


It is worth saying that even if you do not understand why your ex-boyfriend has become so persistent in establishing communication, try to figure it out. And if most of the factors contribute to restoring the relationship and emotions are still as strong, then tr Maybe after you have lost each other, your outlook and relationships will change – and you can create something different, beautiful, and powerful.

Well, if your partner betrayed you and hurt you, and even after the breakup, you do not feel comfortable communicating with him – run from such a person because if he tried to break you once, he would do it again.

Love and be loved.

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