Every woman dreams of marital happiness, wants to love and be loved. In practice, however, it usually happens exactly the opposite – there is no understanding in the house, the husband is a psychopath, an egoist and a manipulator, and domestic violence clouds daily life. What to do in this case, how to live with a tyrant husband and despot?
The woman is urged to leave him by her friends, but for some reason it is not always possible: lack of housing or finances, few children, etc., prevent the woman from taking such a step. Psychologists will tell you what to do if there is no way out, how to resist a tyrant husband and learn to live with him correctly.
It is worth saying right away that there is no way to change your husband – if the family has begun to show signs of violence, it will only get worse with each passing day. Let’s look at how psychologists suggest we behave in different situations of terror.
Nagging, criticizing, and insulting
As a moral tyrant, he will nag and insult in various ways – he will cling to anything, even the smallest thing, and criticize any decision or action. Everything will always be done or said wrong – from A to Z.
The husband can either shout hysterically, embellishing the text with foul language, or mutter monotonously, like an annoying fly. This will drive his wife to hysterics and a desire to hide from the outside world.
Tip 1. The man’s behavior may be related to the fact that he was praised or criticized a lot as a child.
He doesn’t like something? Do not argue, shout and waste your nerves – it will only lead to a quarrel, but not to mutual understanding. Ask him for advice on how to do this or that, and be sure to praise him for his sound advice – he will feel needed and will calm down.
Tip 2. If the reasons for such behavior are not caused by problems from childhood, but the fact that the husband is basically a boor and a bore, the best way to cope with it – to give a decent response.
In this case, praise won’t work – first he doesn’t like the way you run the household, then how you raise the kids.
If you are successful with both of them, there will be another reason. Even if you become the perfect woman on all fronts, he will still find something to complain about – for example, looking tired or not self-developing. The more you try to please – the more claims you’ll receive.
Rejection is the most effective remedy against a pedant.
Is there some dust on the floor? Don’t wash it at all for a while, and then get the whole family involved. If he doesn’t like the dirt, let him wash it himself. In time he will learn to appreciate your work and start to restrain himself.
In both the first and the second case, picking on me may be accompanied by insults – tears and faint mutterings of “why are you calling me names” are definitely not appropriate here.
A self-respecting woman would not tolerate insults or even listen to them.
Turn around and walk away – you are offended. And a simple apology won’t work – forgiveness is difficult to earn, and how exactly depends on your imagination. It can involve updating or some desires – for a week you wash dishes, go to the theater, etc.
He swings his hands.
If the man loses his hands – here is the only way to run, and run without a backward glance anywhere: to your mother, to your girlfriend, to the help centers, etc. And if the husband is not only a tyrant, but also an alcoholic – run away twice as fast.
A woman must understand that if her husband raised his hand once, it will happen again, no matter how much he apologizes or swears it won’t happen again. And under the influence of alcohol he can do anything.
Moreover, with each beating, it will become stronger and more subtle – he will understand that he will not get anything for it, it is only necessary to apologize, and he is forgiven. To leave before the physical tyranny reaches its sad end is the right course of action.
Psychologist: “Scolding, trying to calm down or fight back is only more harmful – the husband will get even more angry. And if you silently tolerate beatings and do not argue – the effect will be the same. If a man unleashes his hands on a woman in an angry moment, he will irritate anything equally – from complete obedience to repulse, so you cannot calm him down. Does the tyrant change? The answer is no.”
Yes, often when a man hears about a divorce, he becomes furious, and this is likely to lead to serious consequences. So before you tell him about your decision, it is better to distance yourself from him.
And you should not be afraid to tell others about your problem – perhaps it is someone who can help you and provide protection from the home “psycho”.
By the way, such domestic tyrants are in fact the usual “weaklings” who simply assert themselves at the expense of a woman – the process of beating gives them moral satisfaction.
Find yourself a new man – when your ex-husband finds out about this, he will be afraid to approach you, because there will be a chance to get a great “kickback”.
Do not forget about the children – they should not see violence in the family, remember that it will all affect their future life. Living with a man who is violent is dangerous to your health and life, so the only advice is to leave.
A despotic husband can terrorize his wife in many ways, but it is definitely not worth tolerating. Don’t forget that his opinion is purely his opinion, and a woman is a person who deserves respect for herself. Whether it is worth living with a tyrant husband is up to you to decide.